Within an hour of my previous post about the ambitious shadow puppet artist I hired to direct my silent film, he messaged me to say he’d taken another job in France and wouldn’t be able to do my shadow puppet show. I’m clairvoyante. Now I’m recruiting again. Now I’m stalking innocent puppets again. Now I’m foaming at the mouth again. White men are the worst.
Having hired a white man to perform shadow puppet arts for the One-Handed Witch silent film, and having not heard back from him in weeks, I’m beginning to wish I had stuck with my #1 recruiting rule, see post from August 6. Now all I have to do is wait and see if he’ll leap when it’s time to leap. He’s also the type of ambitious performer who will jump for a juicier project in a heartbeat, leaving me holding the strings, literally. I should start mining for a backup shadow puppet in the off chance I am right. Where’s my pick and prospecting hat?
As the self-nominated Ringmaster of my own circus music shows, I hire the acts. And after two staged theatre works and counting I can say with confidence, I try to hire females, people of color and recent college graduates. Everyone else is too expensive, entitled and demanding. Exceptions may or may not include exceptional talent, the wheelchair bound or people with a freakish tolerance for the uncanny.
I found a shadow puppet artist to direct my silent film, Joel Baker. I know him from Circus Bella and originally thought he was out of my league, so I emailed him and asked if he could recommend another shadow puppet artist who might be interested in something dark and squirmy, and he said, “Me.” We talked via video chat yesterday and he is ripping, roaring and coughing with enthusiasm. I’m also paying a pretty penny for his services, because like I said, he’s out of my league. If his shit doesn’t blow minds then there will be a knife in the dark. Not really. Just a bat to the shin. I’m kidding. Only a choke hold. Too soon?
I smoked that idea, or should I say, reread it just now because it did not stick in my head past the moment I wrote it, and ... do bats drink tea? No, that idea won’t work. In my hunt to find a puppet who can direct and shoot this short film I can ask for recommendations from people who reject me. Eventually I’ll fall upon some downtrodden soul who is tired of eating ants and can do nothing but say yes. And I can also mine YouTube, some sucker might be up for their first “real” paying job. We’ll see how this week goes and how desperate I feel by Friday. Right now, I feel dehydrated but not desperate. I need tea.
The storyboards for my short silent film with shadow puppets are a crack pipe away from being done, and I don’t have a puppet to direct, shoot, and star in it. Toybox is leaving me out to dry. And the intern for Manual Cinema has pedaled herself manually away from me. As much as I adore shadow puppets, I may end up acting in this film myself, it would not be pretty but it’s better than staring at a dumpster. On third thought, maybe it’s a collaboration with my illustrator Instagram “friend” from Ohio? Maybe there’s a way to combine my acting in the woods with his animated illustrations? I’m going to smoke this idea for the weekend and see how I feel on Monday.
Toybox emailed me today to say he’s still busy being evicted, and moving through June (It takes months to move?) and he won’t be able to work on my project until August. It’s freaking April! I feel like he’s giving me the runaround, the tale-chase, or he’s not interested in bringing this story to life. I emailed another puppet I know from Manual Cinema yesterday. I’ll give her a week to get back to me then I’ll start looking for a new partner. Puppets are proving harder to wrangle than circus performers.
After seeing Tribal Baroque live in Golden Gate Park this weekend, I realized I’ve never wanted to do a virtual performance. That is why I have been dragging my face up and down the stairs. Tribal Baroque perform before the locked gates of that tunnel to the Conservatory of Flowers Wednesday through Sunday night at sunset. They put out a suitcase and take donations. It’s a beautiful thing to stumble upon after whizzing behind a tree; and the longer you're there, and the more videos and pictures you take the more you feel obligated to donate. I still want to create a silent movie with live accompaniment, I just don’t want to do it virtually. I’m going to find a location in Oakland, very public, whiz-friendly and perform it live three nights in a row and ask for donations.
Toybox Theatre or just Toybox, who I met through the Festival of Ghouls, and I talked on the phone for about an hour. After bragging about each other's work we talked about partnering up on a new project, and about his possible eviction. Here is what stuck to the ceiling after so much spitballing, blabber and side-of-mouth conversation. In his experience …
Virtual puppet shows are not the most engaging work of art, and you’re competing with existing content makers like Netflix and Disney+ so give it up or good luck.
Live fans are different from online fans; just because over a hundred people come out to your live show it doesn’t mean even a quarter will come out to your virtual show.
The most lucrative online shows are FREE donation-based vs. ticket based. Again, pro content creators are online and on TV for cheaper now so good luck.
Buildup to a show is of utmost importance. How large is yours? I’m talking about your online presence. Try Twitch or a FREE live show regularly like the Bindlestiff Open Stage Variety Show every Monday night, then reveal something big.
One-off virtual shows are hard to monetize because they are there and then they are gone; like ghosts in the woods. It’s best to have an established presence either on YouTube or Twitch and grow your audience there.
Toybox is busy right now being evicted from his house, our partnership hangs in the balance. If only puppets were as good at moving as they are at spitballing, he’d be done, his director hat would be put on and the “action” would begin. Wish us luck.
People and puppets are more willing to work with you if they know you, or they know people who know you, or you have a huge carrot (money or fame). You can bug them to the breaking point, but when they finally agree to meet with you it’s just to get rid of you. Cold calling or emailing is a long road, and only worth it if the talent is irreplaceable, cheap, and easy on the eyes. These puppets don’t know me from the inside of a mailbox. And they’re all hiding in their trunks during the pandemic, which has complicated everything. Now I have to get out a flashlight and peek in peoples’ windows and pull out my … wallet. I know it’s creepy but worth it.
I emailed a new puppet today. We’ve yet to discuss price, but after reading my work description I see there are four acts that need original choreography. I don’t know if puppets work by the act or by the show, but if it’s by the act I’m sunk. If it’s by the show there’s a chance it could work. And I’ve yet to tell her she needs to wear a witch's hat. That could break everything. She could turn me into a crow. Plan B, if the puppet gives me the finger, we perform the tunes as musicians with multiple camera angles and bring in Renée Sedliar as a guest performer at the end to reenact her POISON CIRCUS mime performance of “A SSShow of Hand(s)” and no. Plan B is cheating. I need a puppet.
Deep discussions with puppets can go on for weeks, and this one did. Back and forth we went daily with emails. We talked about everything: wardrobe, physicality, hinge points, unicycles, feet/no feet, and then I explained the story and musical score to him and … crickets. Either he is still running for the hills or he is locked in a closet with piles of someone’s dirty clothes on his face. Saving the scary only makes people more afraid for whatever else could be looming around the next corner. I’ll give him until Friday and then I’ll smoke him out.