It was insulting and grossly entertaining at the same time. I agreed to license a piece of music to a podcast for the mere payment of an insult letter. Anja Notanja from The Subtle Forces Podcast cold emailed me with the proposition: license “Energy Drink” from POISON CIRCUS for her latest episode, Episode #19, in exchange for a personal insult letter. At first I couldn’t figure how she found me, then I remembered I had been skulking about on her Instagram profile Liking all her shadow puppet work. Back to the music license … The payment options were tempting and hard to resist, like finding an open lollipop on the sidewalk. It was either a personal insult letter or cat hair removal from yoga pants for a year. Tell me I made the wrong choice!
I will spare you the content of the entire insult letter, because frankly, “How dare her!” But I will include a few zingers here for entertainment purposes.
“Sixteen rectums, sixteen rectums inside your bum (and I truly mean “bum” by both definitions) and even with such a plentitude of rectums, not a single one of them knows how not to reek.”
“In fact, every time you “play” the pipe organ, flute, trombone or any other wind-based instrument, it is merely lip synching to your vaguely musical tootings.”
“The whole town knows to keep away. Not one of the many mighty mangy mutts would even be willing to hump this fetid fool.”
Thank you Anja Notanja Sieger for insulting me. Money can’t buy such music licensing experiences.
The Subtle Forces Podcast Episode #19: Dad Into Dough is out now. Listen here.
-Samson
